As a 20-year-old university student, dating apps seem to be everywhere—almost every other student my age has at least one downloaded. They’ve become more than just platforms for romance; they’re practically the new social network for young adults. Swipe, match, chat—repeat. It’s become routine. But, if I’m being completely honest, I’m over it. I’m tired of the superficiality; the brief sparks that fizzle out, and the way dating apps have turned romance into a transactional experience. While the dating apps certainly have benefits, like making dating more accessible in our high-tech world, they’ve reached a point where they do more harm than good. Instead of connecting us meaningfully, dating apps have gradually chipped away at the essence of romance, reducing it to surface-level interactions, encouraging detachment, and making us less motivated to put effort into socializing in real life.
I’ve used dating apps, so this criticism doesn’t come from a place of inexperience but from one of genuine concern. I worry that as our generation becomes increasingly glued to screens, dating apps will erode the idea of romance altogether. Dating was once an opportunity to step out of our comfort zones, to learn new perspectives, and to discover things about ourselves through connections. But today, it feels like all that matters is appearance—whether “Tim” is above 6’0 or if “Tiffany” is shaped like Kylie Jenner. These platforms are carefully designed to hold our attention through visuals, conditioning us to judge based on looks alone. Yes, there are those who make deeper connections after chatting, but for many, the initial pull is overwhelmingly shallow, amplified by a digital culture that already makes us hyper-focused on appearances.
At McGill, the situation gets even funnier. I often recognize classmates or people on campus not because we’ve had meaningful interactions or shared mutual friends, but simply because I’ve repeatedly seen them on dating apps. No judgment here—it just highlights how deeply these apps are entrenched in our social network, especially within the McGill community. Move over, Insta-Famous McGillians; it’s time to celebrate Top Tinder User Red Bird and Matched-on-Hinge Martlet.
There is nothing wrong with using or trying out a dating app; but in some ways it prevents us from naturally and humanly getting to know each other. Part of the allure of dating, getting to know other people and going on dates, is the unknown—the surprises and revelations that come along the way. Dating apps remove that discovery as they expose everything at once. For some, that may be ideal, but in my view, it is too forced, too foreign, and too unnatural for connections to be authentic most of the time. Of course there are many ways to be captivating while not all-revealing on these apps, but that is an art in itself and is mastered after many years and times of exploring the apps. It is not that serious, but it is not something everyone feels like doing or going through with, since, after all, these apps are designed for convenience. Which takes me back to my point: dating is not meant to be convenient. It’s meant to challenge us and help us learn more about ourselves and other people.
I’m disappointed in how my generation approaches dating. Sometimes I wonder if dating apps are truly the essential catalysts in the degeneration of our communication skills and social interactions. It’s as if they’ve broken apart the foundations of romance itself. We’re losing the depth, the curiosity, and the real-world connections that make dating an adventure worth pursuing. It’s time we take a step back and remember that relationships are built on more than just a swipe right.
