Moving to a different city and living alone for the first time has been a drastic change in my life. Entering the independence of adulthood and balancing my education, work, and extracurriculars has been quite an intense process. But nothing compares to dealing with meeting new people and making new friends. The constant introductions, the small talk, facing the stressful cycle of “does this person like me?” or “do they get me?” — it all becomes quite draining. And although socializing and meeting new people is something that will occur regardless of where you are in life, it is always, to a certain extent, nerve-racking. While I cherish the friendships I have made in this new phase of my life, I always catch myself thinking of the lessons, experiences, and memories I’ve had with my childhood best friend.
While I cherish the friendships I have made in this new phase of my life, I always catch myself thinking of the lessons, experiences, and memories I’ve had with my childhood best friend.
Childhood friends stand apart from adult friendships, because they were formed through the simplicity and purity of being a kid. Regardless of if you met at school, in the neighbourhood, at a club or through sports, your childhood friend is a person who was introduced to you in a time when you were still exploring and growing into the world around you. Your friendship developed in a manner that is distinct from any other sort of relationship you may encounter. Because you were innocent and simple minded. You didn’t focus on what political stance your friend took or whether they were becoming a successful, wealthy person. You were kids, and you were pure. As children, we weren’t clouded by the judgment of societal norms and opinions, we just appreciated each other as we were. Childhood friendships come from a place of innocence and curiosity, free from the complexities that often accompany adult friendships.
I always look back to when my best friend and I first met in sixth grade. We were both part of the school newspaper club and I thought she was the coolest person ever with her pink ombre hair and the cute lacy cardigan she always wore. She loved my doodle – covered pencil case and the sketchbook I always carried around. With the simple interests we shared with each other, we became friends and the rest was history. We grew up with a bond over dressing up and arts and crafts. We grew up trusting each other with everything, from our secret crushes to some growing pains in our homes. We grew up knowing so much more about each other than was ever imaginable, as if we were sisters.
Childhood friendships come from a place of innocence and curiosity, free from the complexities that often accompany adult friendships.
I remember when we both began applying for universities. We had envisioned ourselves getting into McGill and fulfilling our childhood dreams of being roommates, living in a pretty pink apartment with two cats and two dogs. But when the time came to open our potential acceptance emails, we were heartbroken. I got the letter of acceptance in time for the admission deposit but my best friend didn’t, and we realized we were no longer going to have the dream life we had imagined as kids. Soon enough, though, we were able to make ourselves at home in our separate universities, and despite living in two different provinces and seeing each other twice a year if we’re lucky, our friendship hasn’t changed. We are still the sixth grade girls in the newspaper club who liked drawing and dressing up. That is something I truly cherish with my childhood best friends: Although you may have entered adulthood and moved out, you still have a childhood bond and you continue to view each other through the prism of your innocent past.
As we grow up and evolve, not all childhood friendships last. I once had another really close friend growing up. We attended dancing classes together and lived in the same neighborhood. Affixed at the hip for eleven years, like twins. But as we reached our teenage years, our friendship began to falter. Sometimes people change, and that change won’t always coincide with your progress as an individual. Oftentimes we end up outgrowing each other and diverging in life. Even if the friends we made back then might not be in our lives now, they still taught us valuable lessons. At the end of the day, it’s important to understand that in life, not all friendships that come from childhood survive. Change happens all the time, and it’s absolutely normal that certain people will come and go as your life evolves.
Even if the friends we made back then might not be in our lives now, they still taught us valuable lessons.
Regardless of their duration, childhood friendships still have things to teach you, and they help you understand the journey you faced to become the person you are today. They teach you how to trust, self-reflect, and take risks. For a long time I struggled to understand the separation between myself and one of my friends of eleven years. How could we have been close for so long and suddenly no longer speak to one another? But after some time I understood our differences and that not all childhood friends are meant to continue as adult friendships. I was able to understand myself and learn to speak up. I came to terms with what our friendship taught me and am still very appreciative of it to this day. Sometimes certain childhood friendships are meant to stay in the past, in your childhood, to serve as a lesson for your self discovery, and that is absolutely okay.
Whether you are still friends with someone from your childhood or not, the connections you established while you were young, naive, and blissfully happy are meant to be remembered and appreciated. They come as learning experiences with people who you can rely on and trust. Childhood friends know more about you than many and understand you without judgment, because in the end you have matured and changed together and they have seen you evolve from childhood into adulthood. My childhood best friend has taught me that it’s okay to be creative and free-spirited. She has shown me how to welcome the craziest ideas that come to mind and how to be authentically myself. The friends from my childhood that have stayed in the past have allowed me to understand the importance of speaking up and appreciating my worth. Childhood friends are crucial in our development, and although they don’t always end up being the “ride or die” we’ve envisioned, they still leave an impact on our lives that allows us to understand why we are the way we are.
