Welcome to B&B Picks: Bathroom Edition

Photo: Evelyn Dom

Welcome to B&B picks! We’ve started this new initiative wherein once a month, to help you readers put faces and personalities to names, members of our team round up their top pick of a given category. This month our section editors tell you their favourite bathrooms for when you need to cry, are in an emergency situation, or just need to be left alone. 

 

Morgan Davis, Arts and Culture Editor
On the fourth floor of Bronfman, hidden away beside the Dean’s office and through a hallway beyond the student study area, is one of the more glamorous bathrooms on McGill campus. Relatively modern and recently renovated, the dark-grey colour scheme fits well with the corporate vibe that only gets stronger with each ascending floor of the building. You know that harsh lighting most bathrooms have where you somehow have grey undertones to your skin and every line on your face makes you seem 23 years older? The 4th floor bathroom’s lighting is relatively dim and there aren’t any windows, so you don’t have to worry about looking up at yourself in the mirror while washing your hands and audibly gasping at the state of your reflection. All-in-all, the 4th floor bathroom is above-average, and the 2nd nicest bathroom in Bronfman. But, it still needs a few more assets before it can even think of overthrowing the Best Bathroom in Bronfman™, on the 3rd floor

Zach Lanys, Opinion Editor
What immediately comes to mind when, in the middle of a hot Montreal day, you suddenly have the urgent need to use a washroom on campus? For many the answer may be panic and find the closest (non-construction obstructed) McGill lavatory. For others, it might mean sprinting back through the Ghetto to get to their trendy, Plateau-style open concept washroom. Personally, I prefer venturing out to the undisputed best washroom on campus: Arts basement. If Joe Flacco was considered elite back when the Ravens won the Superbowl, the Arts basement washroom is the love-child of Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers. Elite. To begin, the Arts building Porter and support staff always ensure this washroom is the cleanest on campus. There are several urinals and stalls, ready to handle a variety of bathroom related needs. While some of you may be thinking at this point, “wow, as good as this washroom sounds, this description could probably apply to many of our on-campus toilette options”, there is one thing that truly separates this washroom from the pack: it’s incomparable cross-breeze. Whether you’re trying to make it to your next class in five minutes at Stewart Bio, or just looking for somewhere to relax in between your 8:35am and 5:35pm lectures, the Arts basement washroom is guaranteed to be at the appropriate temperature for handling nature’s call. Now that OAP is over and add/drop is done, start treating yourself this semester with a visit to the best of what McGill has to offer.

Ryan London, News Editor
While I recognize that sharing the details of this bathroom may reduce my sit-down enjoyment, I feel I owe it to our readership to direct them towards the truth. In my opinion, the best bathroom on campus is the one on the third floor of Bronfman. Traffic to the washroom is extremely low because its tucked away near the maintenance closet, so its usually very clean and empty. The setup of the interior minimizes your chances of seeing someone you know so its the perfect washroom for anti-social bathroom-goers, or anyone who’s pee-shy!

Leo Gelfand, Business and Technology Editor
January 2018 marked the long-awaited opening of the Donald E. Armstrong Building, the sparkling new home of McGill’s MBA program. The robust and modern building is named after the great Professor Don Armstrong, one of the seminal figures in McGill’s illustrious history. A former PhD student, teacher, and mentor at McGill, Professor Armstrong is most celebrated for founding our school’s MBA program and serving as its first director. In addition to 48,666 square feet of lecture and meeting space, the Armstrong Building provides McGill students with the most pristine, quiet, and peaceful bathroom on campus. The Armstrong Bathroom’s superiority is accentuated in September, when its crisp and cool air offers the optimal space for a quick break from a basement lecture. Surrounded by nothing but silence and serenity, the Armstrong Bathroom offers the perfect locale to skim through a reading in between classes or catch up on last Sunday’s episode of This American Life.

Sarah Farb, Opinion Editor
She’s not the prettiest; she’s not the best-smelling; She’s not someone you introduce to your parents, but she’s got a lot of heart. Located off the landing on the stairwell between floors 7 and 8 of the Stewart Biology Building, this bathroom is reminiscent of what SNL’s Stefan might dub “New York’s Hottest Club” during an instalment of Weekend Update. Not only is its location unbeatably obscure, but its stalls are lodged into awkward corners, and its (lone) sink is slightly too shallow and always too cold. But, you know what? Its got charm. The Floor 7.5 bathroom is real with you. It’s not there to be your friend, but only to offer you the solemn silence of a forgotten room–a place one would only frequent because one has an awkward hour-long break between two 200-level classes that are both Up the Hill. It is pink-hewn and peaceful, in a no-frills kinda way. This McGill bathroom may give off 7.5 vibes, but in my books, it’s a definite 10.

Adil Dostmohamed, Arts and Culture Editor
Let’s be honest, we McGill students are spoiled. We’re so spoiled that, sometimes, we may not even realize how good we have it. Our university is beautiful and prestigious, the student body is full of bright minds and intriguing personalities, and the campus is located in the middle of one of our nation’s greatest cities. Now, you might be wondering how this has anything to do with campus bathrooms. The answer to your question is that the bathroom on the first floor of the Education building is not the bathroom you want to use; it is the bathroom you should use. This bathroom, unlike some of the other aforementioned bathrooms on campus, offers the humbling experience we all need in our lives. Starting with an exhausting, sweaty, and out-of-breath hike up what feels like half of Mount Royal, taking care of business in the Education building is the epitome of an unpleasant experience. The bathroom’s entrance is narrower than ideal, the stall doors creak, the water pressure from the tap is unimpressive, and the odour in the bathroom toes the line between unpleasant and unbearable. All of these elements come together to provide you with a life-changing experience so traumatic that your outlook on life will have completely changed. You’ll want to run out of the building and never come back, but as you exit, drying your tears and walking underneath the scaffolding, the world starts to seem a little less… crappy. You begin to see life as a glass half full, and not half empty. You stop thinking about problems, and start thinking of solutions. And while you’ll always carry that memory of the bathroom on the first floor of the Education building in the back of your mind, you have that bathroom to thank for putting you in a position to appreciate the little things life has to offer.

Patricia Sibal, News Editor
Most McGill bathrooms are strictly economy-class, but one stands above the rest to be worthy of first-class status. To escape the realities of your student budget, head to the bathroom in the Arts basement located across from Subway. This bathroom features luxe marble stall walls, adding a level of glamour that can’t be found in any other McGill bathroom. This bathroom could even function as a mirror selfie location for those so inclined (so long as you filter out the fluorescent lighting). While most students head to the larger bathrooms in the corridor, this bathroom remains comparatively crowd-free and, most importantly, clean.

Guy Miller, Business and Technology Editor
When you think of the ideal, archetype bathroom, the human-brain, being the non-evolving sack of cells that it is, goes back to what humans have relied upon for centuries – the five senses: smell, sound, taste, sight, and touch. But really, what makes a good bathroom great are the characteristics that have a profound effect on the mind, not the body. The things I look for in a perfect bathroom – above everything mentioned – are, how many people know where it is? Is the handle going to be fiddled with during your business? Do I feel confident in the lock? The fact that the answer is no to all of the prior questions proves that the best bathroom on campus is the Blackader solo bathroom. While there are better physical environments on campus, this is the bathroom that will be tried the least, offering peace of mind throughout your…process.

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